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Employee Guy is an Employee who works for an unknown company in the Ryan George Extended Universe.


At some unknown point in time, he was hired to work.

Don't Talk To Me Until I've Had My Coffee[]

Sometime during work, Employee Guy offers one of his co-workers some coffee. His co-worker responds extremely aggressively, telling him to not talk to him until he's had his morning coffee. He continues to yell at Employee Guy, who is just trying to offer him some coffee, telling him to "Zip it." Eventually, Employee Guy decides to silently point his coffee mug towards the co-worker, who realizes it's an offer and takes the mug. Upon drinking from the mug, he immediately realizes that the drink taste like poop. Employee Guy reveals that the drink is in fact hot water and poop, and that he put it in the mug because his co-worker was constantly being rude to everyone around him. After confirming that the drink is poop and not coffee, the co-worker repeats his line from the beginning of the conversation, "Don't Talk To Me Until I've Had My Coffee"

TFG1 - The First Guy To Ever Take A Vacation[]

Employee Guy asks Boss Guy for a vacation because he wants to try this new thing: going for a country for just a week. Employee Guy then travels to Paris, France and meets French Guy. He wants to take a photo of the Eiffel Tower but French Guy declines because it belongs to them, Employee Guy then explains he just wants to take a picture and show it to other people. French Guy still doesn't understand so he finds Michel Guy and tells him the situation. Michel also declines because it belongs to them. Employee Guy then wants to eat, but French Guy doesn't understand and thinks Employee Guy's country ran out of food. Employee Guy then explains the situation and tries a baguette. He then leaves 7 day later, much to French Guy and Michel's confusion. Back to his office, he gifts Boss Guy a bottle opener which says Paris on it, much to Boss Guy's confusion. Employee Guy then says he will not shut up about the trip he went on.

The Guy Who Invented Sarcasm[]

Upon hearing from another employee that their Boss wants them to meet in the conference room to go over the new e-mail software, Employee Guy says "Oh yeah, MORE new software, that's exactly what the company needs right now..." in a tone resembling sarcasm. In the midst of their conversation, one of the other employees called Roger pops up out of nowhere, claiming to have just invented the concept of sarcasm. The two employees, frustrated after being interrupted, yell at Roger, who eventually ends up leaving the room.

TFG14 - The First Guy To Ever Celebrate Christmas[]

Employee Guy decides to ask his Boss for permission to get a little of time off work to celebrate the birthday of a man who died thousands of years ago. He claims to be very interested in the teachings of this man, and also asks his Boss for a bonus, but refuses to give Boss Guy a bonus back. Employee Guy then returns home to tell his son, Ryan George Jr, that he will be pulled out of school for a celebration. When Junior asks what they're celebrating, his father tells him that the celebration will be based on the birth of a man that he read about who lived and died a long time ago. Junior then asks his dad what happened to the man, to which Employee Guy answers by telling his son about Jesus, and how he was betrayed and killed as described by the Bible. This scares Ryan George Jr, and when noticing this, in an attempt to bribe Junior so that he won't tell his mom, Employee Guy tells his son that "it will be fun" and he will get presents. Realizing that his son doesn't trust him, Employee Guy proceeds to make up an excuse, telling Junior that the presents will come from an old overweight man with a beard. Ryan George Jr asks what the old man's name is and his father, who is running out of ideas and just wanted to make up an excuse to have the day off, begins making up random names like "Claus" "Nicholas" and "Kris Kringle" Employee Guy tells his son that with the help of flying animals, the old man gives gifts to all the good boys and girls. After several back and forth, Employee Guy convinces his son and tells him to buy anything his heart desires under $50.