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Brett Newscaster is a newscaster for the Scary News Network, a news network which makes everything sound much scarier than it actually is. It is heavily implied that Brett Newscaster was involved with "Pop Guy's" death. He and his colleagues Peter and Gerald could possibly be demons[1].


History[]

The Scary News Network[]

Brett Newscaster was introduced as the host of Channel 8's "The Scary News Network", a news channel that profits off keeping their viewers scared and hopeless through sensationalist headlines. Their news reports include topics like murder, combustion and blood, usually directed towards the viewers themselves. At the end of the episode, The Scary News Network warns their viewers about a new virus that has been emerging and advised them to stay indoors.

Traffic Reporter Who Doesn't Understand Helicopters[]

The episode begins on Brett Newscaster reporting on the Annual Golf Tournament, claiming that "it ended in tragedy, with a triple homicide" Then, he introduces their brand new traffic reporter Jonathan, who throughout the episode seems to not understand how helicopters or distance in general work. Since humans and cars look tiny from up in the sky, Jonathan assumes they're ants inside rectangles. Even after Brett tries to explain that from the sky people and cars look very small, Jonathan doesn't seem to understand and continues to refer them as ants and rectangles while trying to report the traffic. Brett then moves on to Jason, a weather reporter, who, just like Jonathan, doesn't understand size or distance.

News Shows That Argue About Everything[]

After the father of a young boy named Caleb packs his son's bag incorrectly, putting his report regarding the handling of the situation in North Korea in Caleb's bag and taking his son's essay about shapes, Channel 8's debate session becomes a senseless argument regarding what is the best shape. Eventually, Brett Newscaster reports on violence between rectangle supporters and triangle supporters in the downtown court. Newscaster ends his speech, and the news channel cuts to a short video criticizing James Politician and his claims of being pro-triangle, while simultaneously voting for anti-triangle laws. Then, it ends with Ken Candidate promoting his own shape, the hexagon.

When Sketchy People Write Tell-All Books[]

In the video "When Sketchy People Write Tell-All Books" [1] Brett Newscaster interviews Jonathan Lawyer about his connections with James Politician and his mischievous acts. Lawyer decides to use the opportunity to promote his book Hey, I Saw Some Real Freakin' Sketchy Stuff For Sure and many other pieces of merchandise. As the video progresses however, we see how Jonathan Lawyer was involved in the negative behavior James Politician was being accused of. After Brett Newscaster has had enough he sheds a light on the moral issue of Jonathan's actions. Jonathan then leaves the broadcast shortly after Brett Newscaster's harshly worded speech. Ironically the next thing Brett Newscaster says is "Ok our next story: is fast food causing a nationwide health crisis? The answer, coming up right after this commercial for In-N-Out Burgers."


If Sports Start Playing Out Like the 2020 Election[]

Brett Newscaster reports on the claims of goal fraud from the coach of the Boston Brewers and him suing the NHL for the result of the game.

Appearances[]

The Scary News Network

When Sketchy People Write Tell-All Books

Traffic Reporter Who Doesn't Understand Helicopters

News Shows That Argue About Everything

If Sports Start Playing Out Like the 2020 Election

References[]

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